


Feels Like the First Time

by avaalons



Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Chris Evans - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Reader Insert, Smut, Virginity Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 16:09:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12302775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avaalons/pseuds/avaalons
Summary: From an anonymous request over on tumblr.





	Feels Like the First Time

Anonymous request! Be warned, this is basically a gajillion words long and it’s 95% foreplay. Also 100% NSFW.

_I love your stuff! How about something where Chris is readers’ first and she has anxiety and is very insecure both about it being her first time AND about her body? And Chris does his best to convince her that there’s nothing wrong with her body and he loves her ❤_

***

It always got to this point. You were in the middle of a hot and heavy make out session, sandwiched between the sofa and Chris, his weight pinning you as he worked his magic against your mouth.

You could feel excitement and arousal blossoming below your belly, the heat seeping through your body and warming you right down to your fingertips. He normally kept his hands in ‘safe’ areas: your face and neck, hips and ribs, no where that would spike your anxiety. You were eternally grateful and considered yourself blessed beyond belief that he was understanding and patient, but the thing was, you knew in your heart that you wanted to go further now, but that your head was stopping you.

You were nervous, and no matter how long you’d been with Chris, no matter how much he showed you his true feelings through his actions and his words, no matter how much you wanted him to be able to just throw you down and take you, no matter how much you dreamed of it when you were alone in your bed, your body just wouldn’t relax enough for it to happen. So when his fingers absentmindedly trailed under the waistband of your jeans, dipping lower than was usual, every muscle in your body stood to attention and you knew he could feel the stiffness and tension in you.

‘Sorry,’ he whispered, snapping his hand back to a safe area, ‘Just got carried away.’

‘Don’t apologise,’ you told him sincerely, 'I want to. I think about it all the damn time but I just can’t when it’s for real. It’s like there’s a block in my brain. Suddenly all I can think about it being naked and every single insecurity I have bands together and stops anything fun.’

He pulled his head back slightly to raise an eyebrow at you, his fingers doing a delicate dance across your jawbone. 

'It’s the being naked part that bothers you? Not the whole not-having-had-sex-before part?’

You giggled at this straight forward question and silently thanked whatever greater power there was that sent this awesome man to you, totally unfazed by the fact you’d managed to make it to 29 years old and had avoided sex the whole time. 

'I think so. Whenever the anxiety rears its head, it’s always about being naked. I guess the two things are linked really, but yeah, it’s mainly about my body.’

He gazed at you for a moment and you could practically see the cogs turning in his mind as he processed this new information and sought a solution. 

'Well, I happen to love your body, but I know that me just saying the words doesn’t do an awful lot on its own. So… if you weren’t naked, or couldn’t tell you were naked, would that make it easier to get past the mental block?’

You thought for a moment, trying to imagine a scenario and you realised that maybe, maybe it could just work. 

'I think so, maybe. But I don’t want to say for definite… what if it doesn’t work and we’re already, you know, part way there and we have to stop?’

'Then we’ll stop, simple as that. Do you actively _want_ to have sex? With me?’ he smirked as his own quick clarification and you laughed.

'Like, probably verging on desperately so.’

'Right, let’s do something about it. Can’t have my girl not getting what she wants.’

He hauled himself up and held out a hand for you. You placed yours in his and allowed him to pull you up to standing. He pulled you to him, body flush against his and he dipped his head to capture your mouth with his, deep and slow and sensual enough to make you melt against him, calming all that nervous energy that had been building up during the conversation. He began walking you backwards towards his bedroom, kissing you all the while as you clung to his broad shoulders to stay upright. 

Before you knew it, you were flat against his bed sheets, his familiar weight pinning you again. This was okay, this there was no problem with, this was just like being on the sofa. You refused to let yourself think about the inevitable moment when your muscles stiffened up and let you go no further. You just wanted to enjoy it. This was everything, being with Chris. He made you feel wanted, adored, beautiful, he really did, and the rational part of you knew it. It was those deep-rooted, auto-pilot fears that were the problem: a learned behaviour that was practically instinct now, despite your significant feelings for Chris. That’s what he was battling against, not your own active consciousness. 

But suddenly he was gone. You blinked in surprise, a deep breath filling your lungs as though you’d just surfaced from the ocean. You saw him rifling in his closet and you were more than a little confused.

'Chris?’ you called out questioningly, propping your upper body up on your elbows.

'Just give me a second…’ his voice was muffled from being surrounded by clothes before he spoke again, more to himself than to you, 'There it is, gotcha.’ 

He emerged from the closet holding a silk tie between his hands, looking very pleased with himself. You couldn’t help the laugh that burst forth as your mind immediately jumped to conclusions.

'And just what do you plan on doing with that?’ you asked him, a little shocked, 'I hope you’re not planning on going all Fifty Shades of Grey on me. Will I be needing a safe word?’

Confusion crossed his features for a moment before realisation dawned and he flicked the tie out towards you with a grin, letting it snap in the air with a satisfying crack.

'What, not ready for Christian Grey levels of kinkiness?’ He collected the material in his hands and approached you, the mattress dipping under him as he sat, 'Don’t worry, I’m wasn’t going to tie you up with it. I just thought it would suffice as a blindfold.’

You raised an eyebrow, 'And that’s suppose to make me feel better?’

He shrugged, 'It might? I want you to see yourself through my eyes, the way I see you, so I think I need to temporarily block your own vision. Stop your own negative image of yourself taking over.’

'Oh,’ you were slightly surprised as you mulled it over. Could this work?

'What do you think?’ he asked, voice soft and gentle, 'If you’re not into it, just say so. It was just an idea. We can just dry hump with our clothes if you want, take it old school. I’d just really, really, really like to give you an orgasm today, if that’s okay with you?’

You giggled again, and you knew he was sincere. Always about you and your pleasure. Never about him. 

You gazed at him steadily as you worried the inside of your cheek with your tongue in thought. Eventually, you took a deep breath and made your decision.

'Let’s do it. Give it a go. Got nothing to lose, right? Only my virginity,’ you joked with a grin, which he returned in kind.

'You sure? Any time you want me to slow down or stop, just tell me.’

'Chris,’ you sat up properly and lay a hand against his face, resting on his beard, 'I trust you. I want this, really. I just want to enjoy myself.’

'Well that, I can definitely do. Turn around for me.’

You shifted so your back was to him and he wound the soft material of the tie around your head. You caught it and placed the tie securely over your eyes as he tied the ends together at the back of your head, careful not to tangle your hair in it. His hands were on your shoulders once he was done, gently turning you back around.

'That feel okay?’

'Yeah. Yes,’ you croaked out. The darkness, the limiting of your senses suddenly heightened the atmosphere more than you ever thought possible. Anticipation pooled in your belly. 

You felt him take your hands in his, and then his lips were on yours again, the blindfold allowing him to take you by surprise. You were only connected by your fingers and your lips and it took mere minutes before your body was craving more of his touch. Now you couldn’t see him, it was like you needed contact even more, like you needed to see with your skin instead of your eyes. But you also wanted him to lead the way.

Slowly, his hands left yours and you felt them cupping your jaw. 

'I love kissing you. I love how you respond to me and how sensitive you are to my touch. I love how your face fits perfectly in my hands and I can just hold you to me.’

His mouth was close: you could feel your skin tingling from the almost contact as he travelled to your neck. You instinctually stretched your head to the side to give him better access as he peppered the skin just under your ear with tickling, ghosting kisses. 

'I love kissing you here and the way it sends a little shiver down your back. I love burying my face in your hair - it always smells so good. I want it to linger on my pillows so I still sense you long after you’ve left for the day.’

Your heartbeat was increasingly pounding against your chest under his ministrations. He was slow and careful and you felt like something so very precious. 

He ran one finger across your collar bones, peeking out of the v neck of your tshirt.

'I could kiss you here all day, and it takes everything I have to remember not to leave a mark.’

You whimpered a little at that, your back arching towards his touch as it sent messages of pleasure pinging to all your nerve endings. Chris ran his hands down the sides of your tshirt, carefully skimming your bra, before settling at the top of your hips. 

'I love holding you here. I love tucking you into my body and how easily my hands fit against your waist.’

He dipped his hands under the hem of your tshirt to skim your overheated skin. His fingers drifted upwards, over the ridges of your ribs and back down again, igniting flames across your skin with every circuit. When you felt his thumbs glide across the sensitive skin under the wiring of your bra, you knew your tshirt must be rucked up against his arms by now and when you felt a finger ghost the valley between your breasts, you knew for sure that you were very much on display. 

'If you lift your arms up for me, I can take your tshirt off,’ he whispered, stating it as a simple fact. Not asking, not telling, just waiting for you to do whatever you were comfortable with. 

You nodded hesitantly before lifting your arms up slowly. He dragged the material upwards and over your head, careful not to disturb the blindfold and you heard a soft thud as it landed somewhere on the floor. That was it, one item of clothing gone, but you were so warm so could barely even tell. His hands were back on your ribs and he went back to kissing your mouth, doing the familiar and well practised things so you weren’t overwhelmed with new feelings all at once. 

'Okay?’ he whispered against your mouth, foreheads resting together.

'Mmhm,’ was all you could manage, focused as you were on sensation and arousal. 

There was a strong hand and arm suddenly winding its way up your back and then you were being tipped towards the mattress. You gripped his upper arms as you went, anticipating the feel of the cool sheets against the (bare!) skin of your back. 

You knew he would be able to see the vast majority of your upper torso now, except for what was covered by your bra. Your stomach and hips had never exactly been a source of intense pride for you. You’d always been a somewhat lanky kid until puberty had hit with a vengeance. You went from willowy long limbs to money-making curves practically over night and you’d been left with angry red lines across your hips as evidence of your quick transformation. They, of course, had faded over time, but you knew full well the silvery tracks were still visible. 

'I really love these glorious curves of yours. I see them taunting me when you wear a dress,’ his hands travelled across your skin as he spoke, following the peaks and valleys of your body. 

His lips were on you then, leaving hot, wet, open mouthed kisses against your skin where you new he must now be able to see stretch marks, and when he pulled back and gently blew on the connections his tongue had made with you, the sensation of coolness against the heat of your body was ridiculously intense. Your hands hunted blindly for his head, your fingers threading through his hair as he lavished all your most hated bits with glorious attention. 

Under his care, you felt your worries and anxieties mattering less and less. You had no top on and he hadn’t run away screaming. In fact, he’d gone straight back in with this mouth. He made you feel attractive and you could tell he was attracted to you, it was clear in the way he treated you. It was a revelation. 

But, the traitorous side of your brain reminded you, you still have to get your pants off and you still needed to actually have sex. What if it came to crunch time and suddenly, it wasn’t your insecurities with your body at all but that they were just an convenient excuse covering up the fact that your body wasn’t built to have sex. What if you just couldn’t do it?

Chris must have felt your hands tense against his scalp, must have been paying attention to any slight change in your body, because he was straight back up to you, pulling the tie up off your eyes so you could look at him, blinking as your eyes adjusted to the light. 

'Hey, hey. Do you want to stop? Is that enough for one day?’

'No, no, I just… started thinking ahead again, instead of enjoying the moment.’

'What’s the problem?’

'What if we get - there - and it turns out the whole body insecurity thing was just a cover and actually it’s sex that’s the problem?’

'Then I’ll stop. Seriously. The millisecond you feel anything other than sheer pleasure, we stop. How do you feel now?’

You were silent for a moment, trying to scope out your actual feelings. You felt… good. Alive. Very warm and wet in certain parts.

'I want to carry on. I was feeling really fucking good until my brain took over.’

'Pesky brain,’ he smiled affectionately at you as he brushed a lock of hair away from your face. 

'Why do you even put up with this? This is a lot of work for a very much not-guaranteed outcome,’ you asked him, voice low and unsure.

'You serious? This is so far from work, I can’t even tell you. I care about you and I want you to feel good, whatever that is. The actual outcome doesn’t matter. I’m not trying to push you towards an end game here. There’s an entire future ahead here so we can do as much or as little as we want. There’s no rush.’

And with those words, you felt the ball of insecurity dull in intensity. You realised you’d been so focused on the time aspect, thinking that there needed to be sex to continue the relationship, that without it he would just check out of it, that you hadn’t even realised he was happy to go entirely at your pace. There wasn’t a deadline on this, and that gave you a whole new perspective. 

'Chris, I…’ you looked at him in something like wonder.

'What’s up, sweetheart?’ 

'Could you… could you just take my jeans off please?’

Your unexpected response drew a laugh from him and he leaned down you kiss you.

'I certainly can. Blindfold on or off?’

'On, I think. I might take it off later.’

He nodded and kissed you again before tugging it back down over your eyes. He set back to work, trailing kisses in a line down your body as he went, until he reached the waistband of your jeans. You felt a slight pressure against your lower belly as he popped the button open, still pressing kisses against your skin. The slide of your zipper thrummed against your already sensitive lower body. You felt him hook his fingers around the waistband and you lifted your hips slightly so he could pull them down your legs. He went slowly, placing kisses against your thighs with every inch that was revealed to him. And then they were gone. 

You expected to him to return to your lower half but instead you felt his weight on top of your whole body again. You blindly grabbed at him, eventually able to wind your hands around his neck as he settled on top of you.

'Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?’ his deep voice reverberated against your lips.

'You make me feel like I am,’ you confessed quietly. 

He crushed his mouth to yours and you were lost in him. You barely noticed when he flipped you over and you were on top of him, straddling his legs, steadying yourself with your palms against his chest. You pulled up your blindfold to look at him in surprise only to find him leaning back against the pillows, hands tucked behind his head, with a very smug smile on his face indeed. 

'You could warn a girl!’ you told him, the dizziness finally subsided now you could see. 

'I could, but I didn’t feel like it,’ he explained nonchalantly.

You were a little stuck for what to do now. You were prepared for him to take control so you could simply follow but now you were on top, both literally and figuratively.

'What do I do now I’m here?’ you asked tentatively.

'Whatever you want. You’re the naked one after all,’ he nodded towards you and you instantly glanced down at your body expecting to see underwear but finding only skin. You were too baffled to remember to be self conscious.

'How did you…?’ you asked with a disbelieving laugh.

'I’m a ninja. Or a magician, you decide. But while you’re deciding, do you think you could help me off with my clothes? I’m feeling overdressed.’

You were naked. Naked. Straddling a man. A ridiculously handsome, funny, sensitive man with a body like a Greek god. Who wanted to be naked with you. And it felt amazing. You could feel the solid muscle of his chest under your finger tips and the rough denim of his jeans against the inside of your thighs. You wanted him. Badly.

You surveyed his body, wondering where to start. You slid your fingertips under the hem of his tshirt where it had ridden up, exposing a strip of skin. You could feel the quivering of his muscles and it dawned on you that the anticipation was affecting him as much as it was you. 

When your gaze flickered back up to meet his, his expression had changed from playful to serious. 

'What do you want, baby?’

'Sit up for me.’

He rose easily, his core muscles contracting as he pulled himself upright. You were cradled in his lap, exposed and vulnerable, but thoroughly able to trust him. You made quick work of pulling his tshirt up and he took over to tug it over his head, ball it up and throw it across the room. You started with his shoulders, running your hands over the broad width of him, marvelling in the strength you could feel. Chris left you to your explorations and you leant forward to place light, experimental kisses against his shoulders and collar bones. 

His palm strayed to your jaw, leading your face upwards to his.

'You amaze me, you know that?’ 

'Not as much as you amaze me.’

His fingertips danced down your neck, over your breasts, down over your ribs and settled for a moment near your hip before continuing along your thigh, running delicate circles that drew further to the sensitive inside with every rotation.

'Remember, just tell me to stop and I will,’ he whispered into the shell of your ear before placing a kiss underneath the lobe.

You nodded and swallowed thickly, barely able to stand the tension. You throbbed with need and we’re desperate to relieve the pressure. A few more tickling rotations and he was almost there. Your thumbs dug into his shoulders as your grip tightened. Chris used his free arm to wrap around the small of your back to keep you close to him and then, finally he touched you.

Your body lurched against his arm reflexively and a high pitched gasp was drawn from your throat. You were so tightly wound and needy that the first contact his finger made with the bud of your clit sent a power surge through you. Your eyes widened as the first touch grew more pressing, the circles he’d drawn on your leg continuing now over hot and swollen flesh. Pleasure bloomed in the pit of your belly almost immediately and you found yourself holding your breath intermittently, it coming in hitched gasps when you remembered to exhale. 

One finger was joined by another, and dipping lower and lower, drawing all that pleasure from you and spreading it over the full length of you. Then he began to tease your entrance, and your hips began to move of their own volition, undulating shallowly against his hand. 

'You’re okay baby, I’ve got you,’ he promised as he inserted one finger into your slick heat, slow and gentle so your body could get used to the intrusion, 'Okay?’

You nodded quickly, assuring him you had never been better, and with that he began to pull out, just as slowly, before going back in, picking up the pace slightly. He repeated the motion over and over again, steady but relentless, only allowing you to focus on the delicious slide of his finger in and out of you, winding you tighter and tighter.

'Ready for another?’ 

You nodded again, 'Yes. _Yes_.’

'Tell me if it’s too much,’ he reminded you again, as he pulled almost all the way out of you. The next time he went in, he added another of his fingers and you felt the difference immediately. The stretch only intensified the swelling of pleasure and you closed your eyes, your head lolling back as you gave in to the sensation. The coil was almost ready to unravel as his fingers curved upwards and his thumb brushed your clit. The spring was released, your muscles clenching violently around his hand as a long, satisfied moan fell from your lips. You slumped against him, his fingers drawing every last ounce of climax from you, the aftershocks making your muscles twitch in reflex. 

He withdrew his hand and you pushed yourself back to look him in the face, clasping his jaw between your palms and plunging forwards to kiss him deeply. 

'You good?’ he asked when you pulled back.

'I’m so far beyond good, it’s unreal.’

He chuckled lightly, 'Glad to be of service.’

'What do we do now?’

He shrugged, still grinning, 'Whatever you want. We can just lie here for a bit? Want to watch a movie?’

You paused a moment. A movie? You’d just experienced your genuine sexual awakening and he thought you wanted to watch a movie? 

'Chris… you’ve still got your jeans on. And you’ve not…’

'I’ve got no expectations. This is about you.’

'I want to have sex with you,’ you told him definitively.

'Right now?’

'Right now.’

'Okay then. Well, if you wouldn’t mind just moving a moment,’ and you squealed in surprise as scooped his hands under your ass and plopped you down on the mattress before standing up, 'I’ll just de-robe.’

He made quick work of stepping out of his jeans as you watched on. He was bold and shameless in his nakedness, pulling his boxer briefs down without ceremony and allowing you only a second or two to look at the, admittedly slightly intimidating, length of him before launching himself on to the mattress next to you, wrapping his hands around your hips and tugging you down next to him, mouths clashing, bodies colliding.

'Dork,’ you laughed. 

'Maybe so, but you’re the one stuck with me so who’s the real loser here?’ 

You shoved against his shoulder as he rolled you under him, the tone suddenly shifting to one of reverence. He simultaneously leaned down to kiss you and inserted his fingers back into your heat, still sensitive from your orgasm only minutes earlier. He swallowed your gasp as he began to move in and out, not aiming for climax with his fingers this time, but preparing you. His scissored his fingers, stretching you and manipulating your body, all the while keeping his mouth on yours, tongue sweeping against your lower lip, slow and languid against yours. 

Your breathing hitched again at the incredible sensations and you suddenly reminded yourself that you had a part to play here too. You trailed a hand down his body, and when it reached its destination, you wrapped a delicate hand around his dick, feeling rather than hearing his moan against your mouth. He pulled back to look you in the eye.

'You’re not supposed to be working here,’ he pretended to scold you.

'I’d hardly describe this as work,’ you told him, echoing his sentiments from earlier, 'Besides, it might not be very good. I don’t really know what I’m doing.’

He shook his head in amazement before guiding you slightly, 'You’re doing great so far babe, I promise. Just… stay light and smooth. A thumb on the tip would be much appreciated.’

You listened closely and experimented with varying grips, running your thumb over the tip when you pumped to the top, feeling him smooth and silky under your touch.

You both took your time, knowing there was so rush, revelling in slow, lazy foreplay. Chris kissed you what felt like everywhere, swirling a tongue over your nipples and grinning when your back arched against him. 

You were ready, you could feel it. You wanted him so badly, wanted him inside you, filling you. He seemed to sense it too and pulled your arm up, stopping your ministrations. 

'I’m going to go slow,’ he told you, 'Just say the word if…’

'Chris,’ you breathed, barely recognising your own voice, 'I’m not going to want to stop, I swear.’

His dick was at your entrance, you could feel it. He reached down to grip himself to line up accurately. All you would have had to do was shift your hips forward and he’d be in you. 

'Ready?’ he asked once more.

You nodded. Finally, finally it was happening.

His hips edged forwards, stretching you even more. The slow pace allowed you to feel it all, the fullness feeling like relief. You were silent and still and Chris intertwined his fingers with yours, foreheads pressed together, eyes locked as he pushed in to the hilt. He gave you a few seconds to get used to the feeling of him being there and then he began to thrust and you were lost.

Nothing had ever felt like this before and he was incredible. He kept everything unpredictable, slightly changing his angle, switching up the pace, and he held you fast. You could do nothing but focus on him and what he was doing to you. 

'Jesus, you feel so good,’ his voice was strained through effort and somewhere at the back of your mind, you wondered how much he was holding back. 

'Chris…,’ you practically sobbed, completely giving in to the building throbbing pleasure. 

'I know baby, I know. I promise you I will always make it feel this good.’

He pulled your hands up far above your head, stretching your whole body out under his until you were taut like an elastic band. Still he thrust, his movements smooth and undulating rather than pistoning in and out like you’d always imagined sex would be, and before you ever thought would be humanly possible, you felt the tightening in your belly, the pressure building and building until there was the snap. You moaned long and hard, a rushing noise filling your ears, your walls of muscle tight around him, clamping and releasing, words incoherent except for his name and you felt him collapse against you as his own climax hit.

He thrust against you shallowly and without much rhythm as he milked both your orgasms for all they worth and you panted against each other, planting lazy, inaccurately placed kisses against whatever skin you could reach as you came down.

You both lay there for a few minutes, still interlocked, making out lazily as the aftershocks subsided and your vision cleared. You carded your fingers through his hair, a loving caress, as he kissed and kissed you. 

Eventually, he pulled out carefully and lay at your side, rolling you to face him, twining his legs with yours. 

'How do you feel?’ Chris was still concerned, even now.

'Like I’m on a cloud,’ you giggled.

'Yeah?’ He grinned, 'Thank god.’

'What do you mean?’ you were puzzled.

'Imagine if I’d been shit and put you off sex for life!’

'Definitely not the case. I’m more than satisfied,’ you promised.

'Me too,’ he leaned forward to kiss the tip of your nose before cradling your body against his, sated and content. 

You lay there for a few moments in comfortable silence, knowing that this was just the beginning, that if this bit had been amazing, it was only going to get better from now on. 

Chris closed his eyes, weariness seeping in and you tried to do the same but you were too wired. 

'Shouldn’t we clean up?’ You asked, not really sure where all this knowledge had actually come from.

'I’ll go get a washcloth in a second, let me just regain some strength,’ he never opened his eyes. You propped your head up on an elbow, gazing at him fondly, tracing the peaks and troughs of his ribs idly. He was so masculine, so in control, but here he was, worn out by you. The thought filled you with glowing pride and it made you bold.

You leaned forward until your mouth was next to his ear. 

'I guess this means we can’t do it again tonight,’ you baited him in your most gravelly voice.

His eyes instantly snapped open and he grinned at you. 

'Unbelievable!’ he exclaimed.

'What is?’ 

'You’re an insatiable sexual monster! Came twice and now asking for more!’

You laughed heartily at his mock outrage, elation spreading through you.

'If I am, Mr Evans, it’s entirely your fault!’


End file.
